Tuesday, April 18, 2006

An Introduction to Bible-Dips

Except from Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. St Martin Press, New York. 1992. Pages 76-77.

All the Finches did bible-dips. It was like asking a Magic Eight Ball a question, only you were asking God. The way it worked was, one person held the bible while another person thought of a question to ask God, like, "Should I get my hair cut short?" Then the person holding the bible opened it at random, and the person asking the question dropped his or her finger on the page. Whatever word your finger landed on, this was your answer. The doctor so so entusiastic about bible-dips as a direct form of communication with God that most of his patients performed them. Although nobody did as many dips as Hope.

I held the bible and Hope closed her eyes. "Ready?" I said.

She opened her eyes. "Okay."

I opened the bible.

"Oh my God." Hope said. "That's just incredible."

"What'd you ask?"

"I asked if the fact that I missed Bookman means that I shouldn't visit my friend Viv on Friday, if that was a sign."


"Well so," Hope said. "I got awakened. And to me, that means that I would be disturbing Vivian if I vistited her. She did have a cold last month and she's seventy-four. So she probably needs her sleep. If I showed up on Friday, I might wake her up."

I nodded my head and Hope looked up at the ceiling. "Thanks, God," she said.

Hope and God were buddies. Theirs was not a formal relationship steeped in ritual and tradition. It was more of a close yet casual friendship.

(photo above of author Augusten Burroughs. Previous post on Running with Scissors: Strange Culture: Running With Scissors - The Story and The Movie )

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BionicBuddha said...

Interesting blog...the Mel Gibson movie might be worthwhile watching in December...


Ramification said...

That is my favorite book, have you read the follow-up Dry? And I think the author is hot !

Mike K said...

I forgot about Bible Dips. I think President Bush uses them in his policy making.