Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The Giant Fish Aliens of 2011

At the work lunch table...

Lucinda asks everyone: "You guys know about the Bible right?"

Everyone: "Yea, I've heard of it" Chuckle, chuckle, chukle.

Lucinda: "Well I've read parts of it but never the whole thing, but my husband was telling me about how it says that the world will end in 2011 and that no ones ever made a calender that goes pass 2011, and that giant fish creatures are going to take us over."

Everyone: "What?"

Dee: "I can tell you the Bible says nothing like that?"

Lucinda: "Well I told my husband that in Iran were I was born, I was born in the year 2021, so that can't be true on the calender thing, but have you seen the beer commercial where the beers are falling from the sky and people grab them and get sucked up into the air?"

Everyone nods "no."

Lucinda: "Well there's alien fish and they're fishing for humans. I don't like the thought of their being aliens, but you know there is, and I'm worried that we'd all get killed somehow like that. I think they would make us all be our slaves, doesn't the Bible say something about that."

Olivia (my boss): "Well if giant fish aliens did come, I'd invite them over, maybe teach them Algebra or something. And if we were their slaves, maybe they'd be good masters. The bible also says masters should be good to their servants."

Jill: "And anyways, the bible says we don't know the day or the hour the worlds going to end, so you shouldn't worry about this stuff."

Lucinda: "I know, but you just worry, can't you see it happening like this?"

* The names have been changed to protect the crazy.

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Kimberly Ann said...

Wow. This is made more funny and more crazy only by the fact that I know your co-workers. But seriously, this tops all the other nutso stuff I've ever heard them say.

Anonymous said...

Awesome blog, duder.

2complx said...

Sounds like some of my lunch conversations. I'm the crazy one though

Jim Jannotti said...

This is one of the funniest blog posts I've ever read. I'm telling my friends!

Garth said...

Okay... so how long have you been working at the asylum?

Anonymous said...

Seriously?? Seriously?!? You witnessed this? Did you laugh or cry??

And these people are shaping the young minds of tomorrow????

Oh dear. oh dear.

Jordan M. Poss said...

Wow--you should sell that dialogue to a sitcom, or maybe the Coen brothers.

Justin said...

poor girl