Consider these 15 films as your "Must-Avoid" Movie List for Summer 2008.
May 23: Postal
For starters, any movie that squares off the same weekend as Indiana Jones has to be horrible, unless it's a limited release film in a totally different format. This movie on the other hand in an action comedy. Far too similar in genre. Staring no one remarkably famous this movie deals with a postal leader, teaming up with a cult leader who accidentally chooses the same target for a violent attack as the taliban chose.
May 30: The Foot Fist Way
A buddy comedy about the downward spiral of a Tae Kwon Do instructor who goes on a journey to find his hero...no way. Especially if Will Farrell's not in it.
May 30: Savage Grace
I wrote last year about this movie about the story of the Barbara Daly Baekeland (Julianne Moore) murder case when this movie was slotted as a 2007 release. Hardly a summer flick, the story of a woman who has incest with her homosexual son. It doesn't matter how good the performances are, I'm totally not interested.
I've mentioned this film before, but as I see it, there frankly are just way too many American Girl books, and if Kit Kittredge is successful than they'll have to make an infinite collection of dumb movies about doll/book collection. Molly goes to School, Nina Washes her Hair, Marcy No Longer is a Slave, Polly Wants a Cracker. Saying no to Kit is like saying no to a whole line of scary girl dolls and their potential film conterparts.
July 3: The Wackness
Wow, believe it or not, a period film about the year 1994, really keying in on 1994 culture..."a time of pagers, not cell phones; a time when Tupac and Biggie were alive but Kurt Cobain had just died." This story about a depressed pot dealer in New York in 1994 trading pot for thearapy sounds Sweet! -- 'not!'
July 18: Hounddog
I mentioned this movie in June and July of 2006. Way before Hannah Montana/Mylie Cyrus was in controversial Vanity Fair photos, Dakota Fanning was filming a movie (when she was then 12) about a sexually abused girl who finds hope in the music of Elvis. Did people forget summer movies where about escaping the heat, smiling and eating popcorn?
July 25: Baghead
The imdb.com synopsis reads: "The Duplass Brothers explore the minutiae of relationship dynamics in this in-depth study of a group of desperate actor friends. And a bag. And a head." Umm...that's totally not worth $9.
August 1: Swing Vote
Are people so uninformed about the electoral college, voting procedure and simply enough general odds, election law? This comedy about the presidential election coming down to one man's vote is so dumb. Kevin Costner, I'm really sorry you have to take on film rolls like this that should go to actors like Ray Romano or Ice Cube.
August 1: Midnight Meat Train
Everyone loves a story about dismemberment and cannibalism on a midnight meat train. The family movie of the year.
August 1: Choke
What happens when a story that should have been a Saturday Night Live skit becomes a movie? You get a Choke, the story of a man who pays for his mother's hospital bills by pretending the choke and conning the victims who save him. A great film for the cynic who doesn't want to help or give. This film is based off a novel by Chuck Palahniuk author of Fight Club, so I could be underestimating this one...it could have cult favorite potential?)
August 8: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
Please...those pants better stop traveling or else they're all going to end up with diseases! (Where do young actresses go when there WB or comparable program goes off the air -- that's right...straight into the traveling pants)
August 22: Wild Child
Due to the writer's strike...we have taken an old story, only the names of characters and minor details have been changed. The premise: "A rebellious Malibu princess is shipped off to a strict English boarding school by her father where she falls in love with a boy she is prohibited to date."
August 22: Bangkok Dangerous
In an attempt to remake an Asian film (a la The Departed) this Thai film unfortunatly stars Nicholas Cage in a plot that was probably being copies back in 1999 and now is way overplayed...the story of hitman who falls for a local woman. Again it only makes sense to blame it on the writer's strike.
August 22: The House Bunny (formerly titled I Know What Boys Like)
A playboy bunny is tossed out of the mansion and helps 7 clueless sorority girls save their sorority house. I'm guessing people will not being seeing this because of the plot?
August 29: Babylon A.D.
Rosemary's Baby + Jurassic Park + Da Vinci Code + Vin Dissel. It sounds like a bad combo too me. So does this movie about a Vin Disel escorting a woman across Asia who is the host body of a genetically modified Messiah.