Monday, June 04, 2012

Monday Review by Margie: Hanna (2011)

Margie Cracken is a guest blogger for StrangeCultureBlog.com, her style & taste are not typical to the Film Blog Community. You can read more about Margie here.


Saoirse Ronan, Hanna
My son just got me my first DVD player and so I went to the video store for the first time in awhile, since those stores don't carry VHS anymore.

I asked to clerk for a movie recommendation. He asked me what I liked. A few years ago I saw the movie Atonement at my son's house, and remember thinking it was okay. I particularly liked the beautiful costumes and the fond memories I had of my old type-writer.

When I told the clerk I liked Atonement he thought for a moment and recommended Hanna, saying it was one of his new favorites. Hanna, he said was directed by the same guy as Atonement, and stared that same girl Saorise Ronan (I only know her name because it's on the box, I certainly could not spell her name unless it was in front of me, and I certainly can't pronounce it). 

Now, I am going to recommend they fire the man at the video store because this movie is nothing like Atonement. In fact, this movie is horrible. I thought Saorise's character was awful trouble-maker in Atonement, but that little scrawny girl from Atonement is a violent beast in this film Hanna.

Not only is she a violent beast, she is a violent beast who needs a hair cut and a little exposure to the sun. I have never seen such a pasty girl with savage locks in my life. I just wanted to get my sewing shears out and cut that girls wild mane.

I was told I shouldn't give away the crucial plot points when writing a review, but let me tell you, this girl is violent. She shoots guns, uses bows and arrows, and kills people with her bare hands. I never had a daughter, but I can tell you this, I would never let her watch a movie with girl like this in it. And to think, I used to think Hannah (spelled with two "H's" of course) was a nice name. Now, oh my, the name has been tainted. 

Speaking of child rearing, this girl has some mystery mother, to be honest, I don't know if I really understood that part of the plot, but it seems unimportant to the plot. All the story here is some teen girl karate kicking adult men. It's really dreadful. But most dreadful of all, is the father. He has made his daughter a beast and teaches her all sorts of wonderful things out of encyclopedia's and then leaves her to kill people.

That being said, it reminds me of an old friend of mine who home schooled their son. He's in jail now too, I always said, it must have been the lack of social skills he would have picked up in a traditional primary school, but alas people make choices. Often they make bad ones. 

Admittedly, I made a bad one when I listened to the recommendation of that guy to rent this one. I knew as soon as she killed that Moose at the beginning. I will certainly tell the video store next time that I do not want a movie where any young girl kills a moose. 

3 comments:

Loren Eaton said...

This is hilarious. I love it!

Anonymous said...

Hanna was lovely.

Anonymous said...

Saoirse Ronan was fantastic playing Briony Tallis in Atonement and has since shown an incredible range in films like The Lovely Bones, The Way Back and Hanna. Looking forward to her upcoming work on Byzantium, Violet and Daisy, The Host and How I Live Now. She's easily the best young actress in film.

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